Goodbyes Are Not Forever

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Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you, Until we meet again.-Unknown-

Hi and hello to everyone who is reading this. This is not the way I wanted to start out writing my very first post, but I feel like in these exact very few minutes of time I need to.

As my husband and I were getting ready to go to sleep and all snuggles and cuddles, something just came over me, and no it was not hormones… I just started bawling my eyes out. Tears drenching the pillows and blankets, and I could not catch my breath. As I am writing this it’s about one o’clock AM, and hubby is finally sound asleep and I’m sitting near my parents cozy, little, snug firewood stove. Those tears that I am crying right now are memories of my dear friends and family that are circling nonstop through my brain, they are for the people that I will be missing more than my words could ever express, and for my loved ones that I will be saying a bitter sweet goodbye to for a certain period of time. I tried to be strong and positive and not to show my teary eyed side of me just because I do not like when people see me cry especially in public. But tonight was different.

My thoughts revolved around if I would ever see my family again, my mom and dad, my sister, and grandparents. The people who have loved, prayed, and guided me through every single step of my life. Not many people can say those things about their family, but I can say this… My heavenly Father has blessed my life with some amazing parents; my two special people who live to be a blessing to others and devote their lives to serving others. And to my one and only little grown up sister who has been nothing but loving, crazy, fun, and sacrificing. Those friends(Irina, Alina, Vika, Dana, Yanna, Vita, Nastinka, and many more ) that I have grown up with and adopted as my family. You girls have no idea how much you all mean to me. And most of all I will be missing laughter, the joy and happiness of being around these wonderful people God has brought into my life.

It is heartbreaking to say farewell for a short period of time to the ones you love and cherish the most. To leave the comfort of your parents home, to part with the familiar surroundings that you have known for the past 18 years. At times, I have that fear in the back if my mind that starts with the WHAT IF’s: what if I never see my family again, what if I will never make friends in Cali, what if I will never adapt to my new life. But I have decided to not dwell on these negative what if’s, because if I do, depression will take its course. I want to enjoy every single second I am given in this short life and not dwell on these fears. As I am about to wrap my thoughts up, reflections of Danny and my farewell/birthday party still linger in my mind. The words of the many blessings and prayers that were spoken over us will always and forever be engraved in my heart and mind.

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It’s not easy letting go of a comfortable, and a well accustomed to life here in the snug and cozy mountains. But I am looking forward to new adventures with my husband, meeting new people, making new friends and starting a new job. It is very scary and yet exciting to start dipping my toes in the West Coast SoCal life.

beach

1 comment
  • Donna Roberts

    Lena, I have watched you grow up. As a new immigrant at your 5-6 years to who you are today. When you start missing your family and friends, they are a phone call away.. Or a Skype where you can feel like they are in the same room as you.
    I love you, will pray for you and Daniel and wait to see your next post
    DonnaReplyCancel

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